In the beginning we crouched
Naked,lost, in the mud and blood and spit of our creation
We hated ourselves and the devils we held beneath our scowls
God came back
From his long Caribbean vacation
He found us
Crouching, scowling in the mud an the blood
He said, “get the fuck up you goddamn animals! Have some self respect.”
And we’d crouched so long our backs had become crooked, our arms long, our knuckles abraded. We stood up out of the filth by painful inches.
God pointed at one of those pitiful creatures with his perfectly tanned, manicured fingertips and said,”What the hell is going on here? I leave for a moment to catch some sun and have a few laughs and you lose your shit?”
And the timid voice of the pitiful creature said,”we just ain’t no good. We got this evil in us, this darkness, and we can’t shake it.”
God stared at humanity for a few minutes.
He rubbed his perfectly manicured beard,
he tugged at the sleeves of his
jimmy buffet pineapple shirt
and finally said,”Well shit,
that just isn’t gonna cut it.”
So god grabbed up the human race in his big hands and shook and pried and ripped and finally tore the devils out.
And the devils ran all over, biting and spitting and jumping and humping. And god said,””There ya go.”
He turned to leave.
One timid human spoke up as a devil was eating her baby,”Now what?”
“Don’t look at me, they’re your devils do what you want with ’em.”
And we did.